I carry a notebook with me everywhere. It is the one thing that I carry everywhere with me; even the phone doesn’t get that privilege. Inside this notebook, I write my to-do lists for the day, upcoming events, thoughts on life, concerns with work, partial blog entries…it’s a catch-all for my brain. (If you’re curious, I use the Leuchtturm 1917 Medium Notebook).
I keep a piece of paper that I printed out from The Listserve from a woman named Laura. She talks about her midlife crisis (you can read the entry in its entirety here). The paper is creased and a little worn because I take it out at least once a week to reread her words. Her words could have been written by me; her fears and hopes are close to mine. It’s validating to see that I’m not the only one with them.
I have a big fear that I’m wasting this life of mine away behind this computer screen. When I look back on the past decade of life, a decade filled with some exciting times as far as my career is concerned (the Aereo ride was wild), it has all blended together with early mornings and late nights of programming. I love programming but is that what makes a life well lived for me?